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Old 07-30-2009, 01:31 PM   #91
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Originally Posted by Kill The Scene View Post
And I've done a million fucked up things, but the only one that comes to mind right now (will think of more) is this one
-Some fat girl had a huge crush on me in middle school. Carnations (or whatever) were that week, and she bought a flower and had it delivered to me in art class. She was in the class across the hall so she could see me in my chair when I got it. I got it, heard who it was from, and went to the door and put the white rose through the huge shredder. I don't think I've seen a girl cry so hard.
HAH.
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Old 07-30-2009, 01:46 PM   #92
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Lol @ chicks giving guys roses. What straight guy would want that shit haha.
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Old 07-30-2009, 01:51 PM   #93
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Lol @ chicks giving guys roses. What straight guy would want that shit haha.
Yeah it was basically some thing to raise money for something, and most of the time it was the dude, but this fat whore apparently had a boner for me and dropped a lot of cash, and I think it came with a poem too, but I'm an ass and took it all to the shredder and just looked her dead in the eye as it went through. Was awesome.
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It's funny how they call other people fags, yet KTS and dr0ne constantly talk about sucking each other off...
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You guys act like us being gay wasn't totally obvious before this thread was made.
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Old 07-30-2009, 02:15 PM   #94
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Yeah it was basically some thing to raise money for something, and most of the time it was the dude, but this fat whore apparently had a boner for me and dropped a lot of cash, and I think it came with a poem too, but I'm an ass and took it all to the shredder and just looked her dead in the eye as it went through. Was awesome.
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Old 07-30-2009, 04:49 PM   #95
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last night i was getting blown and had to stop her every 20min to take a piss

pretty sick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Argh
and i had a lucid dream of vagina last night, unfortuneately it wasnt actually there it was on the phone. it was like phone sex operation 20 years in the future, when somehow a psychic forcefield of vaginal interface encompass my penile erection making my ejaculate into invisible cumbucket, all via a cheap phone call---sounds like a plan huh? final transcendence of body via technology etcetera
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Old 07-30-2009, 05:02 PM   #96
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last night i was getting blown and had to stop her every 20min to take a piss

pretty sick
jesus christ, what kind of long ass beej was this?! if the bitch can't drain my balls in 15 min, i give her the yank.
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Old 07-30-2009, 05:13 PM   #97
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HAHAHAHA

that is RIDICULOUS!

Two of my friends and I made a no fat girls pact, so they of course will be hearing of this story! haha
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Old 07-30-2009, 05:26 PM   #98
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i wonder if anyones ever proposed while getting a bj
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Old 07-30-2009, 06:56 PM   #99
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jesus christ, what kind of long ass beej was this?! if the bitch can't drain my balls in 15 min, i give her the yank.
word
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Old 07-30-2009, 07:06 PM   #100
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i wonder if anyones ever proposed while getting a bj
haha
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Old 07-30-2009, 10:17 PM   #101
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i wonder if anyones ever proposed while getting a bj
If he goes down on one knee it's a fail
If she goes down on two it's a win
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Old 07-30-2009, 11:45 PM   #102
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If he goes down on one knee it's a fail
If she goes down on two it's a win
sigged
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If he goes down on one knee it's a fail
If she goes down on two it's a win
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Old 07-31-2009, 12:32 AM   #103
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Originally Posted by Sudden Intoxication View Post
word
dude usually i am almost pre mature i blow so fast....last night i was just drunk as fuck and it could not happen. i was skullfucking her too
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Argh
and i had a lucid dream of vagina last night, unfortuneately it wasnt actually there it was on the phone. it was like phone sex operation 20 years in the future, when somehow a psychic forcefield of vaginal interface encompass my penile erection making my ejaculate into invisible cumbucket, all via a cheap phone call---sounds like a plan huh? final transcendence of body via technology etcetera
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Old 07-31-2009, 06:09 PM   #104
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I've gotten off on bjs maybe twice in my life. I just can't do it. Or maybe the girls I get with are fucking awful.
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Old 07-31-2009, 06:23 PM   #105
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not enough stroking
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Old 07-31-2009, 06:30 PM   #106
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the girls I get with are fucking awful.
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Old 07-31-2009, 07:14 PM   #107
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Sometimes beejs just don't do it, I don't know why. Usually I can nut without a hitch, but there are those times. Last dome I copped was fucking flawless, the girl was pretty pro without being a prostitute. She had no qualms with sucking balls or deeping it or any of that nonsense. Despite her best efforts, I could not get a nut for the life of me. She finally gave up after like an hour and a half, leaving me with the worst blue balls ever. Oh well.
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yo if tocamget a G For a foreme legend. thatd be a stoei to tell. youre chill meh. heklp .e out find a g

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Old 07-31-2009, 09:53 PM   #108
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i was sure i was going to get blue balls the other night, yet i still havent to this day. i am horrified of getting them.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Argh
and i had a lucid dream of vagina last night, unfortuneately it wasnt actually there it was on the phone. it was like phone sex operation 20 years in the future, when somehow a psychic forcefield of vaginal interface encompass my penile erection making my ejaculate into invisible cumbucket, all via a cheap phone call---sounds like a plan huh? final transcendence of body via technology etcetera
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Old 07-31-2009, 09:58 PM   #109
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not enough stroking
indeed. if you can't bust your nut after a while just of sucking tell the chick to stroke that shit.

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If he goes down on one knee it's a fail
If she goes down on two it's a win
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:06 PM   #110
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backstory: my ex is the oldest of 5 kids, so they never had any pets. One day his little sister found an abandoned kitten and they kept it, and they all really loved it, until it got crushed to death a few days later by a piece of wood that was propped up against their house and blew down.

So one day we were having sex, and he has this bookshelf above his bed and a book fell down and hit him in the head, and I said "better be careful, isn't how your dumb cat died?" and he stopped thrusting, sat down, and started crying.


PS: I hate cats
PPS: I'm a girl lol

You fucking fat ugly cunt.
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:15 PM   #111
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CannedStarfish View Post
backstory: my ex is the oldest of 5 kids, so they never had any pets. One day his little sister found an abandoned kitten and they kept it, and they all really loved it, until it got crushed to death a few days later by a piece of wood that was propped up against their house and blew down.

So one day we were having sex, and he has this bookshelf above his bed and a book fell down and hit him in the head, and I said "better be careful, isn't how your dumb cat died?" and he stopped thrusting, sat down, and started crying.


PS: I hate cats
PPS: I'm a girl lol
I have the video from when you guys were doing this
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:34 PM   #112
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CannedStarfish View Post
backstory: my ex is the oldest of 5 kids, so they never had any pets. One day his little sister found an abandoned kitten and they kept it, and they all really loved it, until it got crushed to death a few days later by a piece of wood that was propped up against their house and blew down.

So one day we were having sex, and he has this bookshelf above his bed and a book fell down and hit him in the head, and I said "better be careful, isn't how your dumb cat died?" and he stopped thrusting, sat down, and started crying.


PS: I hate cats
PPS: I'm a girl lol
You're a fucking bitch. Get the fuck out of here.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tecky
It's funny how they call other people fags, yet KTS and dr0ne constantly talk about sucking each other off...
Quote:
Originally Posted by dr0ne
You guys act like us being gay wasn't totally obvious before this thread was made.
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:36 PM   #113
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Originally Posted by CannedStarfish View Post
backstory: my ex is the oldest of 5 kids, so they never had any pets. One day his little sister found an abandoned kitten and they kept it, and they all really loved it, until it got crushed to death a few days later by a piece of wood that was propped up against their house and blew down.

So one day we were having sex, and he has this bookshelf above his bed and a book fell down and hit him in the head, and I said "better be careful, isn't how your dumb cat died?" and he stopped thrusting, sat down, and started crying.


PS: I hate cats
PPS: I'm a girl lol
I lol'd.
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:38 PM   #114
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Originally Posted by GravesOfTheFathers View Post
I lol'd.
Stop being a white knight.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tecky
It's funny how they call other people fags, yet KTS and dr0ne constantly talk about sucking each other off...
Quote:
Originally Posted by dr0ne
You guys act like us being gay wasn't totally obvious before this thread was made.
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:40 PM   #115
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Stop being a white knight.
...wut
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:40 PM   #116
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You know what.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tecky
It's funny how they call other people fags, yet KTS and dr0ne constantly talk about sucking each other off...
Quote:
Originally Posted by dr0ne
You guys act like us being gay wasn't totally obvious before this thread was made.
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:42 PM   #117
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Originally Posted by Kill The Scene View Post
Stop being a white knight.
i don't even know how that makes sense in this context, but ok.

CannedStarfish, post tittays or gtfo.
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Shawn IS unnecessarily awkward. I just imagine while he's "fumbling around" he's sweating profusely and whispering to himself, "How can you be so stupid? So stupid."

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Did shrooms when i was 16, best night of my life. did thema few other times since them

did acid at 19, also one of the best nights of my life i ate pizza with shaq.
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:46 PM   #118
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i don't even know how that makes sense in this context, but ok.

CannedStarfish, post tittays or gtfo.
must not know what a white knight is then.

and no one wants fat nakeds.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tecky
It's funny how they call other people fags, yet KTS and dr0ne constantly talk about sucking each other off...
Quote:
Originally Posted by dr0ne
You guys act like us being gay wasn't totally obvious before this thread was made.
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Old 07-31-2009, 11:47 PM   #119
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My friend Brax used to be a man-whore. He was dating this girl Jen from NJ and her 3 brothers were fucking crazy. Always super loud and cursing and beating the shit out of people when they moved to PA and whatnot. Well he cheated on this girl with like 12 girls in two months. She found out, and the next day her brothers fucked up his car really bad like a bunch of fucking pussies.

That was like...back in 2004. A month ago we were hanging out and he was drunk as fuck and he's like 'duuude those guys are still due for their car getting fucked up!' and my other friend was like 'DUDE LET'S DO IT NOW' but they realized they were too drunk to drive. It's going to happen soon though haha.
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Old 08-01-2009, 12:10 AM   #120
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CannedStarfish View Post
backstory: my ex is the oldest of 5 kids, so they never had any pets. One day his little sister found an abandoned kitten and they kept it, and they all really loved it, until it got crushed to death a few days later by a piece of wood that was propped up against their house and blew down.

So one day we were having sex, and he has this bookshelf above his bed and a book fell down and hit him in the head, and I said "better be careful, isn't how your dumb cat died?" and he stopped thrusting, sat down, and started crying.


PS: I hate cats
PPS: I'm a girl lol
LOL


Oh and
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post tittays or gtfo.
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