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Old 04-15-2012, 08:20 AM   #31
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You were dating a girl who was incarcerated?
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Old 04-15-2012, 12:56 PM   #32
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Old 04-15-2012, 05:17 PM   #33
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You were dating a girl who was incarcerated?
10/10
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:50 AM   #34
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"I'd have sex with you if we weren't good friends"

-Female friend of mine (insert foreveralone.jpgs here)

"Why do you keep staring at my boobs?"

-An ex

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"Why are you asking me if you can fuck me?"
Hahaha. Some girl asked me the same thing once. She did end up sucking my dick at least.
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:33 AM   #35
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^she didn't want me to ask; she just wanted me to fuck her.. pillwhore4life
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:36 PM   #36
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Girlfriend "you can use my netflix"
ex "stop using my netflix"
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:50 PM   #37
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the hoe b4 the last hoe I fuckd told me she broke up with her boyfriend 'cause his dick was too big.. we never fuckd again; she had a scent anyways
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Old 04-16-2012, 05:03 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynch View Post
"you did acid? Isn't that kind of passe? I always took you for a heroin or coke guy"

This one just happened on my last date.
her - "Can we eat somewhere dark?"
me - "As in a place not well lit?"
her- "yeah, i'm breaking out"
you date some weird girls
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Old 04-17-2012, 12:56 PM   #39
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you date some weird girls
I can't even begin to tell you man. It makes for some fun stories, but seriously one hell of a few weeks to a month. At this point, I'm done till sometime after 25. The pussy is only getting better anyways.
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Old 04-17-2012, 10:16 PM   #40
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"Don't think; just do it."
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Old 04-18-2012, 12:24 PM   #41
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"I would never lie to you"
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Old 04-18-2012, 07:09 PM   #42
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"I would never lie to you"
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"I would never cheat on you".
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Old 04-18-2012, 07:15 PM   #43
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"you're not cut ? does that mean we can do it without a condom?"
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The whole land shall be desolate;
Yet will I not make a full end.
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Old 04-19-2012, 12:56 AM   #44
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this thread is siiiiiiiiiick :P

a girl told me in class torday "no you cant be in our group"
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Old 04-19-2012, 02:20 AM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dasahamaar View Post
"Don't think; just do it."
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Originally Posted by Apprntly a Bot View Post
"I would never lie to you"
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Originally Posted by Chromaticity View Post
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"I would never cheat on you".
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"you're not cut ? does that mean we can do it without a condom?"
Wow. These are pretty dumb, indeed.
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Old 04-19-2012, 02:43 AM   #46
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marc93 sounds like an idiot. But...

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a girl told me i have the same name as her stepdad. i posted about it once
Amazing.
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Old 04-19-2012, 09:16 AM   #47
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Quote:
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"you're not cut ? does that mean we can do it without a condom?"
hahahahaha wow
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Old 04-19-2012, 10:05 AM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chromaticity View Post
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"I would never cheat on you".
"I would never hurt you"
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Old 04-19-2012, 10:45 AM   #49
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can we turn this into a 'post mugshot of past fux' thread.. ?
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:33 AM   #50
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I keep no contacts or pictures of ex's

Find em, fuck em and flee.
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:53 AM   #51
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talk'n actual mugshots; bitchez go to jail and shit
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Old 04-19-2012, 05:42 PM   #52
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"I know how to drive." - Every girl ever.

Also, a girl in my high school was quite convinced that not only was there a bridge to England from New York City, but that she had been on said bridge. I'm ashamed to say I think she graduated too...

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That was awesome. I have a shame boner.
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I can't wait to grab a kid by the crotch!
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Old 04-19-2012, 08:32 PM   #53
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Quote:
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"you're not cut ? does that mean we can do it without a condom?"
hilarious. i just watched this show called "strange sex" with my girl the other night and there was this dude who invented this device to stretch his foreskin over his dick to make it like he was un-circumsized again. apparently un-circumsized men have a lot more sensitivity in their dick and sex feels way better. i never thought i'd be jealous of yall uncut folks...
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and i had a lucid dream of vagina last night, unfortuneately it wasnt actually there it was on the phone. it was like phone sex operation 20 years in the future, when somehow a psychic forcefield of vaginal interface encompass my penile erection making my ejaculate into invisible cumbucket, all via a cheap phone call---sounds like a plan huh? final transcendence of body via technology etcetera
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Old 04-19-2012, 08:49 PM   #54
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if you peeled a few thin layers of skin off the head you could probably get the sensitivity back.
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Old 04-20-2012, 12:28 AM   #55
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i never thought i'd be jealous of yall uncut folks...
Blessing and a curse sometimes... if you haven't gotten any in awhile the first time back can be... well, let me just say you should wear a condom and think about baseball and ice cream until the sensitivity goes down a bit






:luke
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Old 04-20-2012, 12:31 AM   #56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynch View Post
"you did acid? Isn't that kind of passe? I always took you for a heroin or coke guy"

This one just happened on my last date.
her - "Can we eat somewhere dark?"
me - "As in a place not well lit?"
her- "yeah, i'm breaking out"
ahh man that's fuckin dumb
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If he goes down on one knee it's a fail
If she goes down on two it's a win
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Old 04-20-2012, 10:36 AM   #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Muscles McPantski View Post
Blessing and a curse sometimes... if you haven't gotten any in awhile the first time back can be... well, let me just say you should wear a condom and think about baseball and ice cream until the sensitivity goes down a bit
this would be true but i've never had sober sex so :derp
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I beheld the earth,
And, lo, it was waste and void;
And the heavens, had no light.
And all the cities thereof were destroyed
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And before His fierce anger.
For thus saith the LORD:
The whole land shall be desolate;
Yet will I not make a full end.
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Old 04-20-2012, 11:03 AM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by illuminatiano View Post
this would be true but i've never had sober sex so :derp
that sucks why?
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If he goes down on one knee it's a fail
If she goes down on two it's a win
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Old 04-20-2012, 01:10 PM   #59
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that sucks why?
why does it suck ? I last a lot longer drunk or stoned and it feels amazing so it's a win/win situation for the chick and I (intoxicatedness has always been mutual thus far).
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I beheld the earth,
And, lo, it was waste and void;
And the heavens, had no light.
And all the cities thereof were destroyed
At the presence of the LORD,
And before His fierce anger.
For thus saith the LORD:
The whole land shall be desolate;
Yet will I not make a full end.
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Old 04-20-2012, 01:34 PM   #60
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it's not hard to have sex dude it'll be ok
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