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Old 04-26-2005, 10:36 PM   #1
stainlesssteelrat
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I Fucking Saw Crotchduster!!!

I live in Orlando, and I know the guys in Crotchduster live here too. So, there's this shitty little bar down the street from my house. It's a total dive, a real hole in the wall. It probably has a maximum capacity of like 100, maybe less. There's usually really horrible punk rock or death metal bands playing there, but sometimes I'll get lucky and catch a really great band before anyone knows about them. I saw Trivium there like 3 years ago, I also caught Capharnaum there before they recorded Fractured, and i recently caught a fucking terrific punk/metal band called Paper Street Soap Company (keep an eye out for them, there gonna be huge). Anyway, I'm sitting there last Saturday night, the first terrible band has alread played, and loaded out their gear. The second band starts to load their stuff in, and I can't believe the amount of shit they have. A huge keyboard setup, 2 fucking drummers, 3 guitar players, 2 bass players, and all kinds of odd little instruments are squeezed onto the tiny stage. So they soundcheck, the sound guy gives them the o.k., and this guy picks up the mic and yells, "leave me alone while I'm trying to mow the lawn, you faggot" and they launched into "Cain sings the Blues." I almost shit myself. It sounded just like the fuckin album! They played most of the album, ending with "Mammal Sauce" of course. After they played I went out back of the bar to talk to them, and sure as shit, they were total dicks. Awesome!!!
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Old 05-08-2005, 07:55 AM   #2
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lucky kint!
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Old 05-09-2005, 06:08 AM   #3
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either your a lying son of a bitch or a very very lucky man.
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Old 05-15-2005, 12:11 PM   #4
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Originally posted by imbromatt
either your a lying son of a bitch or a very very lucky man.
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Old 05-17-2005, 11:11 AM   #5
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thats sraight bullshit. they don't play live.
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:50 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by emoxfag
thats sraight bullshit. they don't play live.
kiss my balls you fuckin ass magnet. my story about the Duster is the double truth, Ruth. I know Fornicus posts here, so maybe he can confirm my story.

your a pussy.
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Old 05-18-2005, 11:13 AM   #7
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what did they look like then boss. what kind of dog is cain? what bar was this? What day? you story has toomany holes. plus they don't play live.
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Old 05-18-2005, 04:07 PM   #8
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allright dicklicker, here goes. Fornicus was overweight and with black hair and he was in a wheelchair. He was also sorta spastick. Slippery Jim was really skinny and kinda short. He was the one who was kind of a dick. Cain was a mostly black, partly brown dog. Maybe a rottweiller, plus he had a white scar on his face.

It was the bar right down the street from the social, and it was a Friday or Saturday. They WERE NOT booked as Crotchduster. They were playing under an assumed name, possibly to try out new material, because they played like two songs i've never heard before.

Hows that, Mr. mp3's a year in advance?
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:08 PM   #9
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shhhhhhh! i perfer fat and crippled, not overweight~!
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Old 05-19-2005, 02:12 PM   #10
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Damn, I´d really like to know if his story is true.
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Old 06-10-2005, 02:54 PM   #11
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I was there, fucking shit went off like a pre-teen gangbang. Never before have I witnessed such musical supremecy. And the fact that they had a dog playing with them......too fucking much man. I tried to talk to them afterwards and Slippery Jim punched me in the cock! Fucking Metal!
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Old 06-10-2005, 03:25 PM   #12
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally posted by Johhny Fuckpants
I was there, fucking shit went off like a pre-teen gangbang. Never before have I witnessed such musical supremecy. And the fact that they had a dog playing with them......too fucking much man. I tried to talk to them afterwards and Slippery Jim punched me in the cock! Fucking Metal!
:D
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Old 06-15-2005, 06:06 PM   #13
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fags
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Old 07-02-2005, 12:20 AM   #14
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Hey Nick.
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Old 07-11-2005, 05:10 AM   #15
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I wish I had a cock for Slippery Jim to punch.
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Old 07-12-2005, 06:38 AM   #16
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I call bullshit.
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Old 07-12-2005, 11:25 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kill The Scene
I call bullshit.
You can call whatever you want there piss wheel. I saw the Duster and that's that. However, I can offer no proof other than this. One of the "new songs" they played contained a part where they sang about "Boner World". It was either free tickets to Bonerworld, or three tickets to Bonerworld, or some shit. Either way, if such a song is on the new album then you'll know I was right, which I am.
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Old 07-23-2005, 04:46 PM   #18
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that show was shit
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Old 05-20-2006, 12:15 PM   #19
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Can anyone confirm this? I'm not doubting you, dude, but your lack of details doesn't look to convincing. No pictures?
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Old 08-28-2006, 01:06 AM   #20
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I love how people have to argue over whether or not this story is true. Crotchduster has made themselves into some sort of big foot. "I saw it, I fucking swear!" "NO YOU DIDNT HOMO YOURE NOT COOL ENOUGH!"

These men are too epic for words. I bow to your awesomeness.
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Old 09-01-2006, 08:26 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crotchpolisher
I wish I had a cock for Slippery Jim to punch.

haha, best comment from a girl ever
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Old 09-24-2006, 06:14 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emoxfag
what did they look like then boss. what kind of dog is cain?
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Old 09-25-2006, 07:45 AM   #23
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I would shave my head, glue my hair to my ballsack, wax it off, wrap the wax around the outside of a dildo, and fuck myself up the ass with it, all while masturbating three horses and flying an airplane through magic rings for bonus points just to see this band play live.
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Old 09-25-2006, 04:47 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by f28rank
I would shave my head, glue my hair to my ballsack, wax it off, wrap the wax around the outside of a dildo, and fuck myself up the ass with it, all while masturbating three horses and flying an airplane through magic rings for bonus points just to see this band play live.
that was in no way funny
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Old 09-25-2006, 07:05 PM   #25
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From Stainlesssteelrat:

"Big Fat Box of Shit" is such a terrible CD, such an unfunny pile of garbage, such a monumental waste of time, that I can't believe that longtime fans of this label (such as myself)
would find this release to be anything other than insulting. It is for this reason that I now view ALL new Willowtip releases with suspicion, and usually wait for several reviews by reviewers i respect (Lambgoat, Aversionline) and hear at least one mp3 before I purchase anything from them, whereas before I would buy it just because I knew they put out only good shit.

It's a shame really.
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Old 10-10-2006, 08:22 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister_Willy
From Stainlesssteelrat:

"Big Fat Box of Shit" is such a terrible CD, such an unfunny pile of garbage, such a monumental waste of time, that I can't believe that longtime fans of this label (such as myself)
would find this release to be anything other than insulting. It is for this reason that I now view ALL new Willowtip releases with suspicion, and usually wait for several reviews by reviewers i respect (Lambgoat, Aversionline) and hear at least one mp3 before I purchase anything from them, whereas before I would buy it just because I knew they put out only good shit.

It's a shame really.
sorry, but I have to laugh at you for respecting Lambgoat's oppinion. You just have no sense of humor.
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Old 06-08-2007, 09:58 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by Crotchpolisher View Post
I wish I had a cock for Slippery Jim to punch.
But you have an ass for him to fuck
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Old 06-21-2007, 02:58 PM   #28
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I call bullshit.
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Old 03-05-2008, 03:37 PM   #29
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shhhhhhh! i perfer fat and crippled, not overweight~!
=] lol
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