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Old 04-18-2009, 03:59 AM   #1
Plant Vochestra
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Listened to my roommate take his girlfriend's anal virginity

Fucking funny story, I just had to share it here. This happened last night btw.

So my roommates from California and his girlfriend flew in yesterday and is here until like fuckin Tuesday. Well anyways I just went to my bed to go to sleep (so I was pretty wide awake) when they came back from his brother's place, who goes to school over here too, and my roommate was pretty smashed. We each have seperate rooms btw in our place so I didn't see them and they might've thought I was sleeping. Our beds are basically right next to each just divided by the wall so I got to hear this whole fun experience.

I've heard him talk about a lot how he wants to have anal sex and he wished his girlfriend would just let him put it her butt so I guess he had to seize the moment. I hear them start to fuck for a little bit then they're quiet for a few minutes when I hear her start to cry and heard dialogue that sounded like this so I just couldn't go to sleep and I had listen to how this played out.

Him: C'mon it'll be fun, it's really not that bad
Her: No, how is this fun for me...you want to do this so you can tell everybody about this
Him: No I don't baby I want to do it because I love you
Her: But that's my booty, it's not meant to be in there

Well she obviously gives in because I've only witnessed their relationship for a few days and I can kind of tell how it works out. So the next minute or so I hear them going at it while she's crying and I hear him goingg "It's ok, it's ok" and I think he threw in a "Wow look at those breasts" comment somewhere in there or maybe I was just hearing that.

So afterwards he went up to go to the bathroom while I heard her crying some more to herself and when he got back it was really hard for me to hold back laughing or just shouting something.

Her: Nothing?
Him: What?
Her: How about maybe a "Thank you Jade" or "That was really nice of you Jade"
Him: Well didn't you have fun too?
Her: No not really, I was just hoping maybe you'd come back and say "Wow Jade that was really nice of you to let me rape your butthole."

Sadly that's the highlight of my week so far.

Last edited by Plant Vochestra; 04-18-2009 at 04:01 AM.
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Old 04-18-2009, 04:05 AM   #2
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HAHAHHAHABHAHAREHDSAGHIFSAGJFSDAGAH

I don't know if this is actually funny or if it's funny because I'm drunk

but

HAHFHAHFAHGAGHFDHGHAGAh
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Old 04-18-2009, 05:50 AM   #3
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That... was .... AMAZING
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Old 04-18-2009, 08:50 AM   #4
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Hahahaha, yeah, that's awesome.
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Old 04-18-2009, 09:16 AM   #5
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hahahah "wow look at those breasts"
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Old 04-18-2009, 09:27 AM   #6
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LOL

"Him: No I don't baby I want to do it because I love you"
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Old 04-18-2009, 10:09 AM   #7
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that's great. thank you for sharing.
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Old 04-18-2009, 10:34 AM   #8
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LMFAO
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Old 04-18-2009, 10:57 AM   #9
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LOL

"Him: No I don't baby I want to do it because I love you"
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Old 04-18-2009, 11:11 AM   #10
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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Old 04-18-2009, 11:30 AM   #11
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Reminded me of:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1904237
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Old 04-18-2009, 12:11 PM   #12
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lol at the breast comment to, more than likely, break the awkwardness but only make it worse.
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Old 04-18-2009, 01:05 PM   #13
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Rape my butthole ha ha ha. This is priceless.
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Old 04-18-2009, 01:33 PM   #14
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ya well at least you don't live with a hot chick and have to hear her getting laid.

srsly i wanna do her so bad.
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Old 04-18-2009, 01:36 PM   #15
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your roommate sounds like a retard, but that's the funniest shit i've read all week. next time you see him, just walk by and be like :sniff sniff: what smells like shitty dicks?
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Old 04-18-2009, 01:37 PM   #16
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your roommate sounds like a retard, but that's the funniest shit i've read all week. next time you see him, just walk by and be like :sniff sniff: what smells like shitty dicks?
being insensitive to women doesn't make you retarded.

it makes you a MAWWWN
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Old 04-18-2009, 01:40 PM   #17
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ya well at least you don't live with a hot chick and have to hear her getting laid.

srsly i wanna do her so bad.
You live with a hot chick but you aren't getting any from her? That's just wrong.
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Old 04-18-2009, 01:53 PM   #18
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HAHAHAHA...wow. You better be taking advantage of this and making fun of him.
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Old 04-18-2009, 02:03 PM   #19
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ya well at least you don't live with a hot chick and have to hear her getting laid.

srsly i wanna do her so bad.
That sucks really bad man. I had a similar experience one night. This friend of mine who is a chick lives in an apartment with a bunch of other chicks, and they had a party one night. As the night winded down she told me I could stay over, and I was like hell yes. I wasn't trying to get with her or anything but the thought had crossed my mind if the opportunity presented itself.

Anyway everyone in the house watches Pineapple Express and people go to sleep. Next thing I know I'm sleeping on the couch and wake up to turn the tv off. I hear her in her room getting railed and like moaning a lot. I kinda regretted that I slept there when that happened.
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Old 04-18-2009, 02:16 PM   #20
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it sucks. i'm never living with a chick again
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Old 04-18-2009, 02:32 PM   #21
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it sucks. i'm never living with a chick again
you just gotta return the favor and have her hear you having sex
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Old 04-18-2009, 04:16 PM   #22
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i just watched Kids last night and this thread is surprisingly relevant.

anyway, that's a ridiculous story
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Old 04-18-2009, 04:22 PM   #23
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anal virginity is the most beautiful phrase in the english language
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Old 04-18-2009, 05:16 PM   #24
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bobbydanger...make your fucking signature shorter and maybe she'll have sex with you.

just sayin'...
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Old 04-18-2009, 06:15 PM   #25
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anal virginity is the most beautiful phrase in the english language
LOL it does sound nice, doesn't it?
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Old 04-18-2009, 06:20 PM   #26
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tldr BUT I saw everyone in the thread saying lol and the ilk so I guess it was a pretty lmfao or rofl story
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Old 04-18-2009, 06:24 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by Plant Vochestra View Post
Fucking funny story, I just had to share it here. This happened last night btw.

So my roommates from California and his girlfriend flew in yesterday and is here until like fuckin Tuesday. Well anyways I just went to my bed to go to sleep (so I was pretty wide awake) when they came back from his brother's place, who goes to school over here too, and my roommate was pretty smashed. We each have seperate rooms btw in our place so I didn't see them and they might've thought I was sleeping. Our beds are basically right next to each just divided by the wall so I got to hear this whole fun experience.

I've heard him talk about a lot how he wants to have anal sex and he wished his girlfriend would just let him put it her butt so I guess he had to seize the moment. I hear them start to fuck for a little bit then they're quiet for a few minutes when I hear her start to cry and heard dialogue that sounded like this so I just couldn't go to sleep and I had listen to how this played out.

Him: C'mon it'll be fun, it's really not that bad
Her: No, how is this fun for me...you want to do this so you can tell everybody about this
Him: No I don't baby I want to do it because I love you
Her: But that's my booty, it's not meant to be in there

Well she obviously gives in because I've only witnessed their relationship for a few days and I can kind of tell how it works out. So the next minute or so I hear them going at it while she's crying and I hear him goingg "It's ok, it's ok" and I think he threw in a "Wow look at those breasts" comment somewhere in there or maybe I was just hearing that.

So afterwards he went up to go to the bathroom while I heard her crying some more to herself and when he got back it was really hard for me to hold back laughing or just shouting something.

Her: Nothing?
Him: What?
Her: How about maybe a "Thank you Jade" or "That was really nice of you Jade"
Him: Well didn't you have fun too?
Her: No not really, I was just hoping maybe you'd come back and say "Wow Jade that was really nice of you to let me rape your butthole."

Sadly that's the highlight of my week so far.
i hope you were having the best wank of your life while this was going on!?
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Old 04-18-2009, 06:29 PM   #28
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wow i guess Plant Vochestra is now posting as a real person, thats kinda funny
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Old 04-18-2009, 06:31 PM   #29
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i hope you were having the best wank of your life while this was going on!?
You're so welsh
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Old 04-18-2009, 06:34 PM   #30
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You're so welsh
you're so who the fuck are you.
























































<3 u reali. x
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