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Old 08-24-2020, 04:40 AM   #1
Lichtbringer
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Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

As I was doing the dishes today I remembered a special time in these forums from back in the day:

John Dwyer was posting a lot on the forums. He was a strange/creepy character and mostly posted pictures of himself with various females, who he seemed to be chatting up or creeping up on at shows. Him and his label “Pathos Productions” were the subject of a lot of ridicule. There was also some beef and accusations of scamming going on. I remember a user having taken an actual dump on some Pathos merchandise and using a picture of that as his avatar on the forum.
Then one day a news story broke: A 30 year old man by the name of John Dwyer had been rescued by officers from Niagara falls where he had been holding on to a rock for dear life close to the edge of the falls. Apparently he ventured into the water with a friend, despite it being illegal to do so, and somehow got swept away by the current. He was jailed/fined afterwards, the forum was collectively outraged and the famous “hands should’ve slipped” meme was created.
I remember being in total disbelief at the time, and still am, to be honest. How could this actually happen? Absolutely hilarious.

I know there are so many more epic occurrences/episodes/phases/memories from the annals of this forum. Post yours and feel free to add more to mine or correct me if I got any details wrong!

Last edited by Lichtbringer; 08-24-2020 at 04:43 AM..
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Old 08-24-2020, 10:44 AM   #2
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

SMN THEME SONG_VER9.gpmotherfucking5
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Old 08-24-2020, 12:23 PM   #3
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lichtbringer View Post
As I was doing the dishes today I remembered a special time in these forums from back in the day:

John Dwyer was posting a lot on the forums. He was a strange/creepy character and mostly posted pictures of himself with various females, who he seemed to be chatting up or creeping up on at shows. Him and his label ?Pathos Productions? were the subject of a lot of ridicule. There was also some beef and accusations of scamming going on. I remember a user having taken an actual dump on some Pathos merchandise and using a picture of that as his avatar on the forum.
Then one day a news story broke: A 30 year old man by the name of John Dwyer had been rescued by officers from Niagara falls where he had been holding on to a rock for dear life close to the edge of the falls. Apparently he ventured into the water with a friend, despite it being illegal to do so, and somehow got swept away by the current. He was jailed/fined afterwards, the forum was collectively outraged and the famous ?hands should?ve slipped? meme was created.
I remember being in total disbelief at the time, and still am, to be honest. How could this actually happen? Absolutely hilarious.

I know there are so many more epic occurrences/episodes/phases/memories from the annals of this forum. Post yours and feel free to add more to mine or correct me if I got any details wrong!
Dwyer basically was the ridicule of 4 messageboards:
SMN News
Reeelapse
Devourment Board
Return To The Pit

Brian from Syphilic was the one who took a dump on the Pathos shirt - he posted that on the Devourment board.

There's a lot of cross polination between 4 messageboards but a lot of dealt with his misadventures from the Embalmer hat, Niagara Falls, evading Tax forms, being a total fucking creep...to this day he's still alive but i believe he's currently living out of a van and shipping orders through a PIZZA box.



https://www.reeelapse.com/viewtopic....52257&start=75
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Old 08-24-2020, 02:05 PM   #4
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

Jewski
the Cleveland steamer story
shawn whitaker trash bags
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Old 08-24-2020, 03:16 PM   #5
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

the microtonal guitar guy?

man, the loss of the "hands should've slipped" archive section is one of the biggest losses in the history of the internet
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Old 08-24-2020, 09:36 PM   #6
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

Didn’t Chalky eat his own jizz or some shit? Lol
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Old 08-25-2020, 08:31 AM   #7
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

Quote:
Originally Posted by J72826 View Post
SMN THEME SONG_VER9.gpmotherfucking5
I didn’t participate in the making of that song, but I remember looking at it in Guitar Pro and being like “wtf is this”...!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pooptastik View Post
Dwyer basically was the ridicule of 4 messageboards:
SMN News
Reeelapse
Devourment Board
Return To The Pit

Brian from Syphilic was the one who took a dump on the Pathos shirt - he posted that on the Devourment board.

There's a lot of cross polination between 4 messageboards but a lot of dealt with his misadventures from the Embalmer hat, Niagara Falls, evading Tax forms, being a total fucking creep...to this day he's still alive but i believe he's currently living out of a van and shipping orders through a PIZZA box.

https://www.reeelapse.com/viewtopic....52257&start=75
I checked out his FB and he posts daily and it seems he’s indeed living in a car. Rather sad, but I suppose you can’t feel too bad for the guy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flaccid Penguin View Post
Jewski
the Cleveland steamer story
shawn whitaker trash bags
OMG the Cleaveland Steamer thing... Can’t recall the details, I only remember there was this kinda hot girl - SN “Erotic Plague”, maybe? - posting on here and some posters knew her IRL and someone mentioned her boyfriend took a dump on her chest or vice versa and this somehow ended up being true. (Maybe we got duped, but I remember laughing hysterically at this story in front of my screen.)

Shawn Whitaker trash bags was another incredible one. Unfortunately can’t remember this one well at all. All I know is Shawn was on tour with some other band(s) and there was some ridiculous interpersonal drama because of Shawn’s compulsive weed smoking. Allegedly he brought along “garbage bags of weed”, which led to many hilarious memes. I seem to remember he was a coke fiend as well, but unsure.

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Originally Posted by ShadowHunter View Post
the microtonal guitar guy?

man, the loss of the "hands should've slipped" archive section is one of the biggest losses in the history of the internet
I don’t remember the guy’s name - Ron something? -, but the thread where he threatened to fight Mike Gilbert of Severed Saviour with wing-tsun or something was legendary and probably still exists.

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Originally Posted by Sammy J View Post
Didn?t Chalky eat his own jizz or some shit? Lol
LMFAO!! Basically Chalky shared a story of him jizzing in his own hand and eating it, which turned out to be unwise, because even though he basically had legend-status on the forum due to his participation in “Scepter of the Ancients” and generally being a sick vocalist, he got ridiculed mercilessly for that and IIRC also some other iffy posts he made but whose content I can’t recall, until he eventually announced his abandonment of the forum and indeed never returned (to post).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Funeral Portrait View Post
Some of the Luke Jaeger episodes were great as well. I can’t remember much except Luke being an extremely erratic poster with rather absurd opinions, while also being a voluntary celibate. Well, he’d say voluntary.

Last edited by Lichtbringer; 08-25-2020 at 08:34 AM..
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Old 08-25-2020, 04:31 PM   #8
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

lmao that picture is absolutely heinous

whatever happened to fucking Vriend and his inane bullshit
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Old 08-25-2020, 08:29 PM   #9
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

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Originally Posted by Lichtbringer View Post


I don?t remember the guy?s name - Ron something? -, but the thread where he threatened to fight Mike Gilbert of Severed Saviour with wing-tsun or something was legendary and probably still exists.
Ron Sword, right?
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Old 08-25-2020, 09:33 PM   #10
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

Fuck John Dwyer
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Old 08-25-2020, 09:36 PM   #11
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

roman theremin leaking the gorguts reunion demo
the design your own devourment t-shirt contest
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Old 08-25-2020, 10:15 PM   #12
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

KARMABLADE

"catchy and emotional"

Last edited by ziel; 08-25-2020 at 10:17 PM..
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Old 08-25-2020, 10:37 PM   #13
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

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Originally Posted by Funeral Portrait View Post
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Old 08-26-2020, 12:21 AM   #14
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

The little things that happened in this forum is what I really loved. Like whenever a new poster came in, asking for help on doing an album cover, everyone would create hilariously terrible drawings. Or that time when some of people here went and messed with (I think) Trivium on one of their posts. etc. etc. etc.

Quote:
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I don?t remember the guy?s name - Ron something? -, but the thread where he threatened to fight Mike Gilbert of Severed Saviour with wing-tsun or something was legendary and probably still exists.
Loved that thread so much. I feel like there might be one other thread, but I believe this was the main one where Ron actually responded back in.

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Also still proud of this image:
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Old 08-26-2020, 03:31 AM   #15
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

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Originally Posted by ziel View Post
KARMABLADE

"catchy and emotional"
that dude was everywhere. here, the nile forum, mabb... his obsession with Freddy Mercury was almost as funny as the one with Brock

iirc, "garbage people" was his "signature insult"
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Old 08-26-2020, 04:29 AM   #16
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

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Originally Posted by Funeral Portrait View Post
He's obviously doing quite well

Holy shit! My gooch is now cramping from laughing so much.
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Old 08-26-2020, 06:25 AM   #17
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

Holy FUCK that picture hahaha

Taking beard inspiration from Craig David!? Luke pls

Damn does anyone still have that Gorguts pre prod? Or the SoP with Chalky one? Hook me up fam
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Old 08-26-2020, 12:29 PM   #18
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

I saw the SCUNT BASHING BARBARITY t-shirt again recently and holy wow, what a shirt.
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Old 08-26-2020, 02:12 PM   #19
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

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Originally Posted by Funeral Portrait View Post

Remembering the glory gays of SMN

By the way I remember some weird pictures of Skeet on the helter skelter or something, ha ha.

And the forum discovering Erlend's bass skills after the 2006 Bloodletting tour with Vile/Monstrosity/Deeds.

Funny thing you mention Ron Sword, I ordered the Pavor demo tape from Discogs some months ago and when I got the package I saw HE was the seller. What a shock.
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Old 08-26-2020, 02:28 PM   #20
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

Here are the preprod/demo/whatever things mentioned above + some more, including that weird somewhat weak track Rob Vigna recorded a long time ago to advertize some looper or some such: easyupload dot io slash jo4imc

Password's "SemenNews4Ever"

Enjoy, love you guys.
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Old 08-26-2020, 09:26 PM   #21
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

A friend of mine was jamming Last Sacrament and I was going to tell him the Ron Sword stuff but like.. where do you even start
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Old 08-27-2020, 12:16 PM   #22
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

The Huntington Beach pier has for some reason become this bastion for Florida level crazy white people to gather and support trump, protest CV policy, protest the blacks, etc. Don't know the guy but I...kind of know enough
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Old 08-27-2020, 12:19 PM   #23
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

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Originally Posted by Funeral Portrait View Post
He's obviously doing quite well

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Old 08-28-2020, 11:29 PM   #24
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

Quote:
Originally Posted by coq View Post
Here are the preprod/demo/whatever things mentioned above + some more, including that weird somewhat weak track Rob Vigna recorded a long time ago to advertize some looper or some such: easyupload dot io slash jo4imc

Password's "SemenNews4Ever"

Enjoy, love you guys.
Absolute legend! Thanks bro, knew someone here would still have these gems.

That?s the SoP preprod for when they were working on music post-Incurso, right? Obviously there?s the ?Where Angels? and ?Spiritual Deception? with Chalky too.
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Old 08-28-2020, 11:39 PM   #25
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

The ass thread
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Old 08-29-2020, 08:00 AM   #26
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

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Originally Posted by Lichtbringer View Post
I didn?t participate in the making of that song, but I remember looking at it in Guitar Pro and being like ?wtf is this?...!

Only the best thing EVER (naw for real)
Man that RIFF DE CARNAVAL DE CLOWNS still has me waking up in the middle of the night in tears laughing.
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Old 08-29-2020, 01:21 PM   #27
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monsieur Lebeauxxx View Post
roman theremin leaking the gorguts reunion demo
the design your own devourment t-shirt contest
“roman steals office supplies” tagged in every thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ziel View Post
KARMABLADE

"catchy and emotional"
Absolute legend!

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Originally Posted by Popegina View Post
loooooool

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy J View Post
That?s the SoP preprod for when they were working on music post-Incurso, right? Obviously there?s the ?Where Angels? and ?Spiritual Deception? with Chalky too.
Was thinking pre-Incurso, but might be wrong!
Seeing SOP on the Incurso-tour with Erlend on bass was fucking epic!!
And so was meeting legendary SMNers quartertone, GrindmasterFlesh, Holo and SuicideMachine!

That reminds me... How epic was Szadou’s quartertone-drawing that read “Suave, smooth and akkademik”

I also vaguely remember a whole saga that ensued after that ex-Decrepit Birth guitarist went to prison for installing cameras in his bathroom (which was completely fucked up), which eventually led to the whole forum falling out with/making fun of Matt from Decrepit Birth and him quitting the forum. I can’t remember why this happened though.

Last edited by Lichtbringer; 08-29-2020 at 01:24 PM..
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Old 08-29-2020, 02:28 PM   #28
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

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SMN THEME SONG_VER9.gpmotherfucking5
Does anyone actually still have that file? Might have been powertab, actually. I remember laughing my ass off at the "chords" made up of inverted crosses of 6th fret notes. I wanna say that was Hannes Grossmann's contribution, at least I think I remember he added something. There were some pretty decent harmonic minorish solo parts in there, too.
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Old 09-02-2020, 07:12 PM   #29
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

Ahh such good memories of great threads and posts. I miss the community we had going here for several years.

I'm just gonna leave this here while I'm at it:
http://forums.smnnews.com/showthread.php?t=251615
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Old 09-03-2020, 01:05 AM   #30
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Re: Remembering the Glory Days of SMN

omggggg the references to the Brain Drill border drama. I remember some statement from a band member where the wording was unbelievably hilarious, but I can’t piece it together. Something about him having to lift up his ballsack and them looking inside his asshole or some shit... Good lord
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